Poems by me, poems by you....

Reach out in the early morning mist,

As the day's sun breaks the calmness of night,

And rise to the new day, a new awareness of being,

Shake hands with the world and smile,

It's great to be alive.

-Jonivan

That's my favorite poem, from when I was a little girl.  I taped it to the wall next to my bed so that it would be the first thing I saw every day when I woke up.  It kinda set the tone for the day.

Here's another poem, that I wrote myself.  I came up with it in response to a challenge put out by a women's atheletic magazine to create a poem that is 6 words or less about your favorite sport (mine was 7 words).  Their responses were awesome.  I wish I could remember some of them . . .. Any way, here's mine:
 

Early morning run.
Birds sing.
Feet fly.

It's a great challenge. Feel free to add one below, of your own, if you'd like.  

Take care, and thanks for listening! - Jules

How To Handle the Tough Times (How to Return to Your Golden Thread then, too)

So How Do I Handle the Tough Times?
You'll probably find that there are times when the "you" that is your core is lost again.  Our days can get so hectic, sometimes our core, our golden thread, seems irretreivable.  I've written a poem for just such difficult times.  It basically means look up at the sky and watch the clouds go by -- even if just for a minute -- to realign you with you, when things get tough. . . to take just a moment to remind yourself that you're still in there.  Anyway, hope it helps...

Wishing you all things good, - Jules

The Simple Things


Trees.
Water.
A sacred walk in the silvery light of early morning.

A quiet beach,
Feeling the ocean breathe in and out, tug and release, with each passing wave.
Lying on boulders warmed by the sun.

Cold, crisp mountain air,
Quenching -- like a drink of water.
The smell of baby lilacs in June, outside an open window.

Time spent alone, in quiet reflection.

At such moments, time falls away and there is just
You and the trees,
      You and the beach,
          You and the air,
And it is enough.

Take time for the simple things.
Seek comfort in them.
Ever-present and unwavering.

They are always there -- just waiting for you -- as you go through a difficult time.

Step 2 - How To Retreive Your Golden Thread, Now that You've Found Her

The best way to summon up that part of you that knows you and is you, at core, I've found, is to put yourself in situations that move you and stir your soul. By doing so, repeatedly, you'll get a sense of what it feels like to have her present more of the time. It is, essentially, a meditative practice, in that it draws you in to you in a very peaceful, content way. So, the first thing to do is to list at least 30 things that move your soul. We all have them. here's my list:

THINGS THAT MOVE MY SOUL

-Trees
-Water
-A sacred early morning run
-Writing down my reflections and sacred thoughts
-Hugging my family and other loved ones
-Montauk
-The Adirondacks
-Larchmont Manor Park
-Cornell
-A quiet beach, with the ocean breathing in and out
-Being engulfed in ocean water, as a toy, being bandied about by its waves
-Time spent alone at Starbucks or the book store, in quiet reflection
-Seeing my husband for the first time after a long, hard day
-Music that moves me, inside and out
-Candles
-Waterfalls & water fountains
-Candle baths
-Feeling completely limber, lithe, and well-run
-Dancing
-The smell of baby lilacs in May, outside my kitchen window
-The smell of leather up close
-Walking from Starbucks to my office on a cold morning, so early that the path is mine alone, cupping the sacred warmth of my espresso in the palm of my hands
-Being outside in nature in gentle conditions
-Epiphanies
-Lying on boulders heated by the sun to warm me, in the water at Cornell & elsewhere
-The sound of running water
-God
-The sounds of birds chirping at the quiet times --late evening or early morning
-A flock of birds in flight, the thunderous near-silence of their ebb and flow
-Giant beams of sunlight, breaking through a forest canopy or thicket of clouds (“look boys, there’s God!” I say)
-The laughter of waterfalls
-The dance of light bouncing off the water’s surface, (“look boys, the water’s happy!” I say), as the water beams a joyous smile
-The smile my husband and my boys give only to me
-The energy radiating from my husband's hands
-A massage
-Cold, crisp mountain air -- So quenching it feels like you’re drinking water

 
Thanks for listening.  More to come.  Take care, -Jules

Who Am I? (a/k/a What is the Golden Thread of Me?)

Weave the Golden Thread


Step 1 - Find Your Golden Thread: Who Am I?

The first step, I’ve discovered, to finding "the golden thread of me" is figuring out who I am in the midst of all of these roles I play, tasks I do, and the outer shell I inhabit – finding my voice, and my self . . . getting back to her, really. Per my previous post, I used to know myself well. I used to be in the moment. I was a human be-ing more than a human just do-ing (like I am today).

I read a book by Deepak Chopra called "How to Know God," and the most important point in the book, for me, was where he helped me answer the question "Who am I?" by figuring out what exactly is a soul, anyway? And I thought, "Hmmmmmph." I was a philosophy major as an undergrad, and read contemplative works all through high school as well, and it never occurred to me to ask what a soul is. The more I thought about it, and the more I read of his book, the more it dawned on me that all of who I am can be boiled down into the single point: I am my soul. Yes, that soul is housed in my body, and that body is part of me, too. But my self-awareness, my consciosuness resides in my soul. They are one in the same.

So how do I find this soul? Well, she's a part of you. She's known you and been with you since you were born, sitting on the banks of the river of the flow of your life, watching you, observing you lovingly in triumph and failure, having fun, and having a hard time. She's that "golden thread" of continuity of awareness that's watched everything you've done and knew what the right answer was each time you tried something -- whether it ended up working out for you in the end or not. She's the part of you that doesn't engage in the day to day struggle of good and evil, right and wrong, hard and easy, etc.... It's just aware that its all going on.

Next post? How to draw that golden thread of you into the foreground of your awareness, now that you know who she is. Thanks. Take care, -Jules

The Golden Thread

Have you arrived at the point in your life yet where you find yourself asking "Who am I?" and "Where did I go?" I don’t know who I am anymore. I’m Mommy, I’m wife, I’m Lawyer, I’m customer, I’m service provider, but I’m not me. Or, at least, I haven’t seen her in a long time. Where did I go – Julie. Where did Julie go? The lawyer? The wife? the Mommy? Those are just roles.

Once upon a time there was a part of me that watched the clouds go by and smiled when she felt the kiss of sun on her cheek or a wisp of wind laughing through her hair. A girl who actually noticed when a butterfly landed on a flower, or that the scent of lilacs just passed by on a breeze. A mind that used to lay gazing up at the stars in the sky at night with friends and had talks about strange things like druids and Plato, and contemplated why we're here, and what connects us all.

Who actually notices these things? Who actually thinks about these things? I did -- the inner me. The inner me is the one whose more than just the sum of the roles she plays every day, the one who’s not just a woman doing/going through the motions of life by accomplishing task “A” for the hubby, task “B” for the client, and task “C” for the family dog. The one who is truly present in the moment, and that moment is not just the act of doing for anyone else. . . .

There has to be – in every moment – a sense of self that is maintained. And THAT is what I want to write about: about how to maintain that self-continuity, that ….. “golden thread” of me, that individual strand that runs through the tapestry of my moments on this earth. Without such continuity, I might as well be a machine, because whoever Julie is – that unique, separate consciousness God put on this earth (as each of us is a separate and unique consciousness) – isn’t here.

I have learned over the years the art of weaving this "golden thread," this core continuum of “Julie” behind the scenes as I go through my days eating, breathing, walking, doing. The art of being while doing nothing AND the art of STILL being while engaged in some other activity. Yes, I am convinced there is a way to have Julie as a subtext to every moment, although I’m not that good at that part yet. I’m still working on weaving it into the tapestry of the moments that fill every day.

Next blog?  More on finding that thread, and how to weave it.  Take care, and thanks for listening.  -Jules

Our Journey Through the Forest of Life

Here is a poem I wrote about losing and then finding old friends again on this journey we call life.
(The photo is my youngest son, walking through the forest on a camping trip, humming to himself.  Happy.)

The Journey . . .

The paths our lives take often lead us to lose touch with the people who mean the most,
Through distance, time, or death, our paths fracture and split, till the way back home seems all but lost.
The trail of bread crumbs has been eaten by the birds of the forest.

The ones in our youth who listened, who stuck by us,
and understood, without the need for words.
Who could finish our sentences, even our thoughts...

Where have they gone?
Like wind swept tracks in the sand, their impression seems to have slipped away,
The mere echo of a memory, so faint now we begin to doubt its sound.

Yet if we listen closely, they are everywhere.
In the lilt of this one’s speech pattern, the crook of another’s jaw
Even in the way we react to a certain type of joke, or continue to savor that spoonful of macaroni and cheese on our otherwise gourmet palate.

They are in the youthful glimmer that appears suddenly in our eye from time to time, then disappears with equal quickness, for no reason any one else could possibly know.
And if we are lucky enough to meet them again, it will feel as if we simply picked up the conversation from where we left off, moments ago. it feels as if they never left, just picked our feet up out of the river and tucked them on the side of the bank to reflect for a little while.
And we discover that their memories help complete our own. And the glimmer becomes a steady glow.

For the old friend never really left our side, they became it. An inextricable part of who we are and what we have experienced, influencing the journey of our lives in ways we can’t possibly imagine.

The return to you has been a return to me, it is a coming home to who I was and have remained somewhere, deep down inside, back before our innocence was lost in the forest of life.

Thanks for listening.  Take care, -Jules

So, Where Do I Go From Here?

Here is a photo of me and my son Tommy at Bethany Beach (DE)

So, where does "buddha lawyer" go from here?. . .  I want to teach.  I've ALWAYS wanted to teach.  In fact, I originally went to law school because it would take less time to becomae a teacher/professor of law (3 years) than it would a professor of philosophy (6 more years of grad school after completing my undergrad at Cornell majoring in Philosophy).  I'm 43 years old and am finally ready to listen to my gut, follow my
heart, and become the teacher I always wanted to be. I love kids, and love literature -- anything that ponders life and its meaning, really -- so I've embarked on a new path:  I'm in a teacher certification program at West Chester University to become an English teacher in middle school or high school.

I'm most proud of an e-mail sent to me by one of the MANY senior partners at my firm who -- to my surprise -- echoed a wistful "good for you" about following your dreams, rather than JUST the money....  The 70 year old partner (whom I respected greatly, but had no idea felt this way) wrote: 

"Julie, my personal congratulations and admiration for having the courage and intelligence to ffollow your dream even if it means taking a pay cut.  Happiness is priceless.  Best of Luck in your new career."

Well, that about says it all.  Next post?  My favorite poem by someone else, as well as one of my own, to set the tone going forward.  Take care, and thanks for listening.  -Jules

Next Post? Will be about how we lose and then (hopefully) return to old friends as we go through this journey called life.  Thanks for listening.  Take care, -Jules  

A New Day for the Buddha Lawyer . . .

I suppose I should start with who I am.  I am a woman in transition.  After 15 years of practicing law at a big prestigious firm in downtown Philly I just couldn't bring myself to do it anymore.  I was very good at it, but found it hard to continue being somebody's bulldog at the end of the leash, growling and sniping at the opposition to grab a crust of bread for my client (whether they deserved it or not). 

How many parts of every day were spent on what I'd call phone calls or e-mails of hate?  The client telling you to attack the other side, both sides fighting over the phone through us -- me and the lawyer on the other side.  It's ugly and destructive in the trenches of court work.... 

When you reach a certain age (I'm 43), you stop pretending to be someone else because that's who you're "supposed" to be, and are far more true to yourself and honest and blunt with others.  And this dog-eat-dog destructive business where I'm trying to bring down your whole company, or your employees, or I'm trying to screw with your efforts to bring a summary judgment motion in a nasty and underhanded way?  I've never been into it.

I'm just a bright, quiet, thoughtful person, and now I'm old enough that I can't bear the noise of it anymore.  It's extremely common for the women in my profession to experience this kind of complete dissiliusionment with litigation by my age, and at least 10% of us, I'd say, actually go off and switch gears, getting out of the practice of law because of it.

Next blog?  Where I'm going from here.... :)  Thanks for listening. -Jules